I guess this is a must read for all prospective new residents of the Great State of Wyoming (at least that?s what I was told by my resident friends wife, who sent this to me when she found out I was planning on moving there.)
Richard
The Wyoming Man
Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!
Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Wyoming movement. "
The Code :
A Wyoming man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Wyoming? man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Wyoming DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Wyoming not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Wyoming guy doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well.? If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.
A Wyoming Man does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Wyoming s need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
A Wyoming? man does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Wyoming fella should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Wyoming man watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Wyoming man does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Wyoming man should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Wyoming man is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree-chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention.? Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Wyoming Man will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Wyoming man knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Wyoming guy should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Wyoming man knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Wyoming man knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT.? Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".
Crying. There are very few reason that a Wyoming man may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control.? Some reasons a Wyoming man can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Ford truck.
When a Wyoming guy is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Wyoming? stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
The Wyoming man knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner
A Wyoming man will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Wyoming man knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Wyoming man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.
A Wyoming man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the Wyoming man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.
The Wyoming man will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Wyoming man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Wyoming man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Wyoming man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !
